{"product_id":"ignores-smoke-alarm-unisex-kitchen-apron","title":"[ignores smoke alarm] — Unisex Kitchen Apron","description":"\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eFor the cooks who believe a little smoke just means dinner has personality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e[ignores smoke alarm]\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e is made for chaotic kitchens, ambitious recipes, distracted home chefs, grandmas who cook by instinct, and anyone who has ever opened the oven and thought, “That’s probably fine.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eThe minimalist caption keeps the joke clean and deadpan while the apron itself is built for real kitchen use. Made from durable \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e100% polyester\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e, it’s lightweight, quick-drying, and easy to wear through weeknight dinners, holiday cooking, baking marathons, and the occasional culinary miscalculation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eBlack detachable twill straps attach through four buttonholes for an adjustable fit, while overlocked seams help the apron hold up through repeat use and wash cycles.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ehome cooks\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003emoms and dads\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003egrandmas with opinions\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ebakers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eholiday hosts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003efunny kitchen gifts\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003epeople whose smoke alarm is basically part of the recipe\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e100% polyester for strength and quick-drying performance\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eBlack detachable twill straps\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eFour buttonholes for adjustable attachment\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eOverlocked seams for added durability\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eOne-sided minimalist text print\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePre-constructed sizing with approximate variance of ±1\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCare\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eMachine wash cold, up to 30°C \/ 90°F. Do not bleach. Do not tumble dry. Iron or steam on low heat. Do not dry clean.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cstrong style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e[BRACKETED]\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cem style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eyour life, captioned.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: [Bracketed] by L. and S. Mangini, hello@wearbracketed.com, 534 Prizer Ct., East Brandywine, PA, 19335, US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: Blank product sourced from China\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Do not bleach, Do not tumble dry, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One Size","offer_id":41602148499514,"sku":"21981906999101330905","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0601\/2554\/4506\/files\/20260818191025-1f19b387-7ef4-6a8c-b7e4-16c0bf0054c2.png?v=1787080659","url":"https:\/\/wearbracketed.com\/products\/ignores-smoke-alarm-unisex-kitchen-apron","provider":"[BRACKETED]","version":"1.0","type":"link"}